And so, my child went to their very first “Homecoming”, an ironic term, considering that they did not actually come home until past midnight. Having grown up in a distant land, I was denied this tradition, and did not understand its cultural importance until I saw large crowds of young people dressed in attire of various levels of formality and age-appropriateness posing with their proud parents. I could practically hear the thought as I drove past: “it seem like just yesterday they were holding hands, doing ring-around-the-roses, and now they’ll be grinding crotches to blaring pop-music. I’m so proud”.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, for my progeny, I lack the understanding of the importance of this coming-of-age ritual and I did not show off my appreciation of a good education by parading my wee child out in front of other parents in expensive designer clothing. I also lack the cultural background needed to dress my 14 year old in stilettos and mini skirt whilst demanding that any book mentioning sex should be banned in high schools. I am definitely not a Good American.
But back to Homecoming. According to reliable historical research (AKA Wikipedia), it is called “Homecoming” because that is when alumni visit their old school. Just why people would want to visit their old high school during a typical teen-age party is beyond me, except to make comments on how bad and loud modern music is, and how modern dancing is scandalous. According to personal accounts of the dance, the old farts would be correct on both accounts. My correspondent who was on the scene reported that while the music was passable, it was being played at levels more appropriate for the engines of a Boeing 757, while the “dancing” consisted of jumping or grinding various nether regions. I am sure that the Gen-X’er and Millennial parents of these young persons would be scandalized that their kids are acting the same as their parents did when they were in high-school. My correspondent was unable to cover these antics for very long, mostly because they decided that their hearing was important, and because they feared for their health and sanity. They also were following other developments in teen-age drama occurring in areas where people could speak without yelling.
It all ended by midnight, with the teens slowly scattering to their various abodes, and responding to the queries of “so, how was it?” with the ever informative “OK, I guess” following by less articulate sounds, slowly fading away as the teens make their way to their rooms, where they exchanged only a few hundred texts before being claimed by exhaustion.
Evidently this is all good for School Spirit, another term for which I understand the individual meanings of each word, but which is unintelligible to me when put together. Does the school have as spirit? That would actually make sense, considering the amount of angst experienced in any high school. This would slowly soak into the building until it took on a life of its own. But how does Homecoming help this Spirit of Teen Angst and Unrealistic Expectations? Perhaps the Spirit of the school is restless, since the school has not yet been named for some famous person, and can only be appeased by ritualized fertility rites at the beginning of the school year? That would also explain the football game the evening before. Nothing like a simulated battle to put an unquiet spirit to rest.
Well, I hope that Homecoming was successful, and the Spirit of the School will be peaceful and benevolent for another year. I will conclude with the spell chanted by the students to appease the Spirit “Go Huskies!”
